Paul X Leo
by Thisisreallybad
Summary: Authors Note: This is a joke. The writing is shoddy at best and if it makes you cringe then good, it's accomplishing the task. Honestly, I'll probably never write another chapter. I want to throw up as it is already. It could have been more graphic admittedly but c'mon who has time for that! Sorry if you actually read this. You should never have to go through such hell.


Paeo: A Paul X Leo Fanfiction

Chapter 1: A Smexy Breakfast

It was a bright morning as Paul slowly rose out of bed, like a piece of _wood_ floats to the surface of a lake. The light of the dawning sun shown through Paul's window curtains, smiling, speaking of a ripe and fertile day. As Paul reached the _climax_ height, he looked around the bedroom. On one side was his nightstand. The reddish wood had a white tinge to it from the times Paul had spilt his nightly glasses of warm milk on it. Paul opened the drawer, the handle was _hard_ to the touch. Inside laid piles of Pauls magazines. Many depicted shirtless asian guys. Their fat creases rippling across their skin, like lava cooling in the sun. Paul reached to grab one but stopped. His stomach growled like an angry volcano before violently exploding, shooting it's content out at high velocity, splattering across whatever lay nearby. Paul realized he hadn't had anything to eat since his late night _session,_ at the karaoke bar. He had rented out one of the karaoke rooms and they had spent the night _banging_ on drums and feeling those smooth lyrics flow from their lips like cream. Paul decided he would go and eat some breakfast before reading his magazines and made his way down the stairs.

Once he had reached the bottom, he saw a handsome figure waiting for him. It was Leo, his friend from works. Had Paul been in his right mind he may have wondered why Leo was in his house but he was distracted. Distracted by Leo's spherical body that stretched out his tight white shirt. He was captivated by the voluptuous man-boobs and fat handles that showered down from almost everywhere, like a storm of pure glory. "Good morning Paul," Leo said in his sexy prepubescent voice, "come sit with me, I made you a tasty meal." Paul drifted almost mesmerized over to the platter of food. He was so infatuated with Leo's super sexy body that he had lost any capability to think, only feel. Leo, noticing Paul's corpse like states replied, "do not worry Paul, I shall feed you." Paul swooned at Leo's heroic and manly nature.

First Leo grabbed the sausages. They were black sausages that Leo had bought from the butcher. It was large and ripe. The skin around it was stretched to the brim, filled with all the sausage juices inside. Leo slowly placed the sausage into Paul's mouth. Paul could taste the salty meat as it filled his mouth. It was still hot from the heat of the oven. He curled his tongue around the long black hunk of beef. Closing his eyes and savoring every taste. Before Paul knew it, he had the entire thing down his throat. Radiating it's warmth down his body, beads of sweat rolling down his face.

"Oh no," Leo exclaimed, "Is that too hot? "Here," he said pulling out a 60 kg vat of yogurt he had bought at Costco, "this will help cool you down." He pulled out big spoon from one of the pockets from his tight sweaty undergarment. Slowly he slid the spoon into the the tight hole that made up the opening on the vat. "Geez," said Leo, "They always make these openings so small, you really just have to stretch them out." Once Leo had got a satisfying amount of yogurt, he slid it down Paul's mouth. Paul felt the cool creamy yogurt as it flowed into his throat. The texture and taste was unlike anything. It filled his every desire all at once. As the yogurt slid down the moist inward of his mouth, Paul could not help but lick his lips, craving for more of the substance. He could not however, locate anymore of the white creamy dairy product.

Meanwhile Leo had taken a small spoon and had began to eat the yogurt himself. He had seen Paul enjoying it and thought he might try some as well. When Paul saw this, his animal instincts kicked in. Suddenly alert, he sprang up tall as something had _turned on._ Paul jumped on Leo trying to get more of the yogurt, licking it off hit fat pudgy fingers and his surprised face. It did not take long however for Leo to get his nerves back. Pushing Paul off, he ran up the stairs as fast as his bulgy legs could carry him. One he had reached the top he turned to Paul who was ravaging the kitchen for more yogurt and said "why don't we take this to the bedroom." Paul obliged.

End of Chapter 1


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